Gray Hair... Cometh

Parenting and discipline. You know my wife and I always say to our kids that we hope that their kids will be the same as them and give them a hard time. I’m starting to believe that my kids are doing everything bad that I did when I was little. Jesus H. Christ, these kids of mine can be little demons sometimes. Tell them one thing and they do the opposite or they straight up tell you “no”. Man alive that’s enough to drive someone crazy (or to drink). I come home from work and the kids are at each others necks like a couple of vampires. I wish I could hang garlic and crosses all around my house to stop the madness. Instead, I have to resort to “smart parenting” type things like; “fifteen minutes sitting at the table reading” or “copy these paragraphs out of a book”. Bah I say.. It's lame, I wish you really could hang a child by their toe nails and make them memorize Aramaic or Latin.

I sit back and try to think of what I hated most when I was disciplined as a little rug rat. The only thing that I really remember was writing a report about a book I just read. I loved reading so I was giving my Dad tons of ammo to punish me because I despised writing a report. Plus, I was only allowed to watch television on Thursday nights during the school week (Cosby Show) so my school nights were filled with several books about mountain climbing, forestry and of course the Encyclopedias. I can honestly say that I read the entire 1983 Encyclopedia Britannica A-Z, have you? So my “reports” ranged from Aalsmeer to Marie Elizabeth Zakrzewska, many, many reports were written.

What type of punishment/discipline should I give my kids for talking back, fighting or not doing what they are told? I’m thinking that I need to place an order for a nice new set of encyclopedias. Anyone know any good salesman?